Bumpy roads, metal plates, pot holes, endless construction, no parking. I love having a car, but sometimes getting from one place to another in Honolulu can be a royal pain.

My daily driving routine now includes mentally mapping out all the routes I can take to avoid Kapiolani Boulevard, which, with its minefield of bumps and pot holes is more reminiscent of a road you might find in a third-world country than a main stretch in a modern city in a state whose economy depends on visitors leaving with good impressions.

It’s not bad enough that your car takes a beating as you’re trying to get to your destination, but once you get there, you either face a small, cramped parking garage or a you’re hit with huge fees for parking.

If you live anywhere in urban Honolulu, you might be looking at $200+ a month in fees for parking your car at home and while at work. With gas now over $3.50, it’s enough to make a person want to get a bike.

Unfortunately, most of us aren’t ready to give up our cars, and as a result, driving in Honolulu gets more and more frustrating. And, I believe it’s making Hawaii drivers more and more cranky.

I witnessed an example over the weekend. On Saturday, a friend was circling for parking near a Waikiki beach and finally spied a spot by the side of a road that was off the main drag. The only problem was, she was facing the wrong direction. She waited a bit to see if anyone would take the spot, then, after it looked like no one would take it, she pulled in and parallel parked, but facing the wrong way.

It turned out that she had pulled into the spot just before another car, which had just gone to the end of the street and made a U-turn, could get there. The woman in the other car scowled and jabbed her finger angrily at the taken spot. My friend wanted to turn her car around so that it would face the right direction, but the woman sat in her car and wouldn’t budge. So, my friend got out of her car and walked away, figuring she would come back and move the car in a few minutes.

The woman, however, wouldn’t back down without a fight. She immediately got on her cell phone and called the police.

When my friend went back to move her car to face the right direction, two officers on bicycles were waiting for her, responding to a call about “a parking altercation.”

Actually, calling the police was probably one of the more civil things the woman could have done. She could have pulled out a knife, which is what happened to one of my other friends who got into an argument with another driver about a prime parking spot at a Honolulu shopping mall.

You could argue about who was right and who was wrong here, but perhaps that’s not the point. Since when did losing a parking stall to another driver become such a big deal? Since when can we not just drive away and look for another spot instead of confronting the other driver or trying to get him or her busted by HPD?

Where the heck did the Aloha Spirit go? I mean — c’mon, this is still Hawaii. It ain’t New York.

That is the question.

After moving out of my parents’ house last October, and spending the last several months living happily on my own, I’m now facing the dilemma of what to do next. The person I am subletting from is returning from abroad, meaning I need to either find another place or move back with my parents.

So, I’ve been looking at the usual apartment and housing websites and fishing for roommates, but there are other questions, too.

WHERE. First of all: where to live? Do I stay close to town where rents are high or move away from the city and get a better deal but a more frustrating commute? What about the character of the neighborhood? As a young female, where would I feel comfortable walking around at night?

ROOMMATES. Should I try to live with a roommate? And if so, should I recruit a friend or try my luck with someone I don’t know? AND, if it’s someone I don’t know, how do I make sure that that person isn’t loud/mean/a slob/a neat freak/insane/going to allow her boyfriend to move in with us? Do I have a choice?

HOW MUCH? How much am I willing to pay for rent? Should I be saving money instead? Should I move back to my parents’ house and try to save money so that I’ll eventually (hopefully!) be able to buy my own place?

PARKING. I feel like parking could make or break a deal in Honolulu. Street parking seems almost too uncertain to deal with. But maybe I’m wrong?

I think these are all questions we have to ask when trying to decide whether to rent or where to rent, especially given the high costs and the budget constraints many 20-somethings are working with. Also, although I can afford it now, I can’t help thinking that maybe I should be saving money, since I do want to eventually have a place of my own. There’s so much to consider!

Help! Anyone have advice?

This NYT story, “Hawaii on a Dime,” is number one on the Times’ “Most Emailed” list this evening.

That’s interesting coupled with the Advertiser’s story today which reports an expected 1-percent-plus drop in visitor arrivals in 2007 from the previous year. Increasing talk about a US economic recession is not going to help the situation.

I guess being the “Most Emailed” means Hawaii is still somewhat interesting to NYT readers! Either that, or nearly everyone who has visited Hawaii has noticed how exorbitantly expensive it is here and can relate.

We locals live with high costs every day. But here’s what writer Matt Gross had to say after a recent visit:

Hawaii is easy, Hawaii has nothing to hide. Hawaii is, touristically speaking, pornographic in its single-minded baring of its assets.

Hawaii is also — duh — expensive. According to AAA’s 2007 Annual Vacation Costs Survey, a family of four could expect to spend $650 a day there on food and lodging, making it the least affordable state in the country — and that doesn’t even take into account Hawaii’s gas prices, consistently among the nation’s highest.

But while daunting fuel costs and overpriced villas surprise no one, Hawaii can be ruthlessly surreptitious when it comes to extracting every last dollar from tourists.

“Ruthlessly surreptitious”? Ouch. But then Gross goes on to talk about almost paying $2.95 for a 12-ounce cup of Kona coffee in Kailua (not Waikiki). And I realized, well, yeah, he’s right.

We’ve always promoted the image abroad of a wonderfully relaxing vacation spot. Visit our beaches, stay at luxury hotels, shop at the gigantic and ever-expanding Ala Moana Shopping Center. All these things, with the exception of the beach, cost money.

Leaving the windward side, Gross and his wife make their way to South Kona and Kauai’s Na Pali coast in search of something “less commercial.” Happily, they find what they’re looking for from Hawaii — beautiful and intimate interactions with nature without it costing them an arm and a leg.

It made me think about a trip I took recently to Costa Rica, whose economy is also based heavily on tourism. It was my first time in the country and I was intrigued by the concept of “eco-tourism,” which is supposed to encourage visitors’ appreciation of history, nature and culture while avoiding the negative environmental impacts of conventional tourism.

Costa Rica is all about eco-tourism. During our short stay we saw monkeys swinging from trees, got close-up with a crocodile while riding down the river in a 10-person boat, hiked up a volcano and witnessed baby sea turtles in Tortuguero hatch from their eggs and scramble towards the tumbling Caribbean Sea. The accomodations were nice, but not fancy, and we spent a lot of time in the rainforest without TV, internet or phones.

Would eco-tourism work in Hawaii? Costa Rica and Hawaii surely have a lot in common in terms of what they can offer travelers. And I still think our beaches are more beautiful.

But I’m not sure. I’m also not sure that moving more towards eco-tourism would be welcomed by all Hawaii residents, although many have talked about the idea.

Eco-tourism also wouldn’t make visiting Hawaii free for visitors. Certainly visiting Costa Rica was less expensive but not cheap. Here, Kona coffee would still be $2.95 a cup.

All the same, it’s interesting that more and more people come to Hawaii to escape the concrete jungle completely and get back to the wilderness, hike hidden trails, go snorkeling, or avoid the restaurants altogether and pack a picnic lunch. Less Ala Moana, more Hanakapi’ai. Maybe we should be taking note.

(Photo: Hanalei River Valley, Kauai, 2007)

I recently moved out of my parents’ house and into an apartment.

And let me tell you, is it liberating!

Lots of college grads return home to the islands after school, like I did, and move right in with the ‘rents. It’s pretty great, really. You get your old room back, with all your stuff, a home-cooked meal every night and best of all — it’s FREE.

In Hawaii I think you find a greater percentage of young people living with their parents in the same house they grew up in than in other places. Convenience, as well as the high cost of renting your own place, are big factors.

Also, I think we can’t disregard the fact that the way we in Hawaii view living with parents might be different from how some folks on the mainland view such a situation. Our culture here is dominated by Asian traditions and cultural values, one of which is the importance of family.

Now, I’m certainly not saying that people outside Hawaii don’t think families are important, I simply think it’s most culturally acceptable in the islands to find several generations living under one roof.

However, despite the great situation it may appear to be at first, there are some downsides to living with parents, starting first with the fact that many college grads have gotten used to having their own place or living with roommates of a similar age who don’t necessarily question where you’re headed at night and don’t call the police if you don’t come home.

In college, you can go out anytime you like, you can come home anytime you like. With parents, that’s hardly the case.

When I came back from the mainland, it wasn’t that I wanted to go out every night, meet up with strange people and stay out past 3 a.m. In fact, nowadays, I’m usually in bed by midnight.

It’s the fact that IF I had ever wanted to, the freedom to do so simply wasn’t there.

I also truly believe (and this is from experience) that many of us who return from school and move in with our parents are putting ourselves at a disadvantage later in life.

With the exception of now working a job instead of going to school, our lives if living with parents aren’t that much different than when we were in high school. Sure, we may pay our own cell phone bills and gym memberships, but what about the water and electricity bills? What about shopping for groceries and knowing what to get?

When I moved out, I barely knew how to make more than ramen and rice (in a rice cooker). My roommate once ridiculed me for heating Ragu in the microwave.

Moving out helped me realize that living with my parents had really stunted my growth and maturity in many ways. Ultimately, it took packing up my stuff and getting my own place for me to understand that.

With rents skyrocketing, few young people I know feel they can afford to rent — let alone own — their own place. And with the option of living at home being so convenient, it’s difficult for many people to convince themselves that living alone would be worth an extra thousand dollars minimum in expenditures per month.

It IS a lot of money.

But I would argue that even if monthly rent makes a significant dent in your paycheck, you ought to weigh that cost with the cost of your sanity, and the benefits of freedom, independence and real world experience.

At 23, I’m not a kid anymore. My total income doesn’t consist of $10 allowance a week. It’s worth taking a look at your finances and weighing those financial costs with the benefits.

And in the end, go back to those local family values and think also of the benefits to your relationship with your parents. Mom and Dad will want to take care of you as long as they are able. But when you still have the needs of a child, there is a tendency for parents to treat you as such, and that’s not healthy for either you or them.

When your parents started giving you an allowance, they did it because they wanted you to learn. And I think my parents would be especially proud of all the learning I’ve done on my own in these last few months.