It seems finding the right online dating site these days can be as tricky as finding the perfect partner, and in the war of online dating site “values” it looks like it’s eHarmony.com vs. Chemistry.com.

From a May 5 piece by Lisa Miller in Newsweek:

Among the young and the single—especially those with Blue State values—wariness about eHarmony runs high. For one thing, there’s the association with Dr. James Dobson. Warren published several of his books under the imprint of Dobson’s Focus on the Family and then, when he was first flogging eHarmony, he did it largely via Dobson’s radio show. “James Dobson … did more to help us get started than any other person,” Warren told NPR’s Terry Gross in 2005. Because of Warren’s strong evangelical bona fides, the impression persists that eHarmony is a dating service for Christians—even though the company has severed its ties with Dobson’s group, and eHarmony “has never been limited to a Christian audience or any particular subset of the population,” says a company lawyer.

A clever marketing campaign by competitor Chemistry.com recently seized on those concerns — and the fact that eHarmony, which has had about 20 million users, rejects about 20 percent of applicants and doesn’t offer a full explanation, as the story notes.

The Chemistry.com TV ads feature seemingly attractive, nice people who mull over their possible reasons for being rejected by eHarmony: Occasionally unhappy. Too many late fees at the library. Too scrawny. “Nope, still gay.”

The accusation that eHarmony discriminates against homosexuals drew the most attention. The site currently only offers two options: “man seeking woman” and “woman seeking man.” eHarmony says it has not ruled out offering same-sex matching in the future — the service is just not available right now.

The 20-percent rejection rate on eHarmony may seem high, but it’s not unreasonable for singles seeking others online to want the sites they use will weed out the serial killers, the weirdos, the stalkers and the crazies.

But, for those who haven’t been lucky in love beyond the Internet, it would be nice to think that your online dating site, at least, would love you the way you are, right?

Where did your parents meet? In college? At a concert? At work?

Online?

Odds are, if you’re my age or older, your parents probably didn’t meet and fall in love on the Internet. For many couples nowadays, however, that first romantic spark could have happened through an online social networking site, an online dating site, a chat room — even an online game.

Nowadays, there’s an online dating site for everybody. Through the wonders of Facebook and MySpace, it’s possible to connect with singles on your area according to specifics like musical interests and movie tastes. There is a site for single parents, and one for singles with disabilities. Several of my Jewish friends have met people through JDate, a site for Jewish singles that has about 700,000 members.

There is even one for pirates. It is called Pirates Passions.

“Ahoy, me Hearrrties!” the welcome message says. “If ye be seekin’ booty, ye be havin come t’ th’ right place. Pirates Passions be a 100% free social networrrkin’ an’ online datin’ site ferrr buccaneers an’ buccanneers at hearrrt.”

Despite its popularity, fears remain, like, is it really OK to meet a total stranger you’ve only spoken with in a chatroom? And what about the other stigma: that Internet dating is somehow reserved only for those who lack the social skills to meet people in real life?

How do couples who met online address this when talking to others about how they met? Would you tell your wedding guests? Your kids?

Is Internet dating still, in some ways, a taboo topic?

I’ve honestly never had the urge to try online dating. I admit it sort of scares me. I grew up in the Internet age, where the rule about never meeting online strangers in person was right up there next to the one about looking both ways before crossing the street.

I wonder if true love is possible via the Internet, though. Surely, meeting someone in a chat room lacks the romantic ring of traditional, in-person first-time encounters, like meeting on a blind date, or falling in love in college biology class — although I can think of many a thing more romantic than college biology class.

I expect that five or 10 years from now, meeting and falling in love on the Internet will become more commonplace, and maybe won’t have the same stigmas that some couples are now dealing with. In time, describing the first instant messages you exchanged could be as cute and romantic a story as any your parents ever told.

And if you met on Pirates Passions, wouldn’t THAT be a good story to tell. Arrrrrrrrr.

Cartoon: OnlineDatingMagazine.com