I went back to the ol’ high school alma mater last night as part of the annual “Life Ater ‘Iolani” event. We divided into groups according to the regions where the seniors were headed to school, so I represented the East Coast with three other alums, who had attended MIT, Boston University and Cornell University. There were about 30 students in our classroom, which I consider a good number.

The 2-hour event gives students an opportunity to be in a room sans parents, teachers and other adults, with just their peers and some young(er) alumni. So, students can ask questions that might not have been asked in the presence of adults, for example, about drugs, alcohol and “hook-ups.” And alumni can give honest answers.

I was glad that in addition to the usual questions about how to stay in touch with friends and how often to call parents, we also had practical questions — how to purchase a good winter coat without breaking the bank, how to find a job during school to help with costs, how to sneak a rice cooker into the dorm without campus security or your RA catching you.

This is the second college info night I’ve participated in. Every year I leave feeling optimistic that I’ve offered at least some semi-useful advice to seniors about the challenges they will face getting on a plane, traveling 13 hours away from family and friends and familiar surroundings, and stepping into an environment that in many cases will be new and foreign in almost every way.

I also think: there is no way that I or anyone else can prepare a Hawaii high school senior fully for when he or she finally embarks on that experience.

Before I left for Massachusetts in August 2002, I talked to a lot of people. But I think there are some things that people tell you that you can never understand or appreciate until you get there; things you just have to learn for yourself.

For example: how can you begin to fathom what 20-below-zero feels like when you’ve enjoyed sunny 80-degree weather for your entire life?

Or, take long-distance relationships. Both years, alumni addressed the topic, basically saying that there is a 95 percent chance that long-distance relationships that carry over from high school to college are doomed. There’s always a nervous twitter among the seniors, many expressing confidence that “there’s still 5 percent.”

I guess it’s just something you have to learn for yourself.

Entering into an entirely different environment, an entirely different life, even, is what going from high school to college is all about. Whether it’s going up the street to the University of Hawaii or HPU or leaving for a rural town in upstate New York, college should be, at times, uncomfortable. It should jar you a bit. Who knows — it might change you from who you were in high school. It may change your friendships with people you thought you would be able to talk to forever. But that’s not always a bad thing.

I guess my advice to seniors would be: yes, ask questions, take some time to prepare yourself for school, for leaving Hawaii and your friends and family. But don’t be afraid to venture off without knowing everything. Don’t be afraid to embrace the unknown.

Teachers might want you to think otherwise, but college isn’t just about school — it’s 60 percent academic learning and 40 percent everything else.

I wish someone had told me that before I left for college.

photo: College graduation, June 2006.