How Not to be a Food Snob
July 1st, 2008 by KimI stopped by Subway to pick up a sandwich around 2:30 p.m. yesterday and ordered a 6-inch Chicken Bacon Ranch. They added cheese, toasted it at my request, neatly arranged the plastic-wrapped chicken pieces on the bread, then asked if I wanted mayo on it. I said “no.”
The woman preparing the sandwich proceeds to grab the mayo container and squirt it all over the chicken pieces. Then, she reaches for the ranch dressing. It was at that point that I think she realized her error. So, to fix it, she takes a knife and starts scraping off the biggest dollops of mayo, the ones that haven’t already oozed their way in between the chicken chunks. She then adds the ranch dressing and vegetables and wraps the sandwich, as I stare through the plastic food guard.
I think maybe if the sandwich hadn’t already been toasted, they might have started the process all over again. But it was too late. The sandwich was already toasted; the American cheese and chicken already added. There was no turning back.
Others would have demanded another sandwich. But me, I paid my $9.00 for the meal, took the ranch-and-mayo covered sandwich and dealt with it.
Having worked as a waitress in food establishments in Hawaii, Massachusetts and New York City, I’ve seen a lot. There was the ostensibly nice gentleman who inquired, if my mother was ethnically Chinese and I was from Hawaii, how the heck was my English so good? There was the table of 12 from Europe who ran up a $300+ bill at a French restaurant I worked at in Brooklyn, spilled salad and chocolate ice cream all over the floor, and left $0 for a tip. And don’t even get me started on my experiences working as a manager at my college dining hall.
But the worst in my opinion are the picky eaters — the ones who quibble over the shades of pink between medium and medium rare, or who send back a sandwich with tomatoes instead of just removing the offending vegetables with a fork.
I always talk to one of my best friends, a veteran of Zippy’s, about how working in food service builds character. We’ve thought of writing a guide book for diners called something like “How Not to Be a Food Snob” — although, admittedly, that was one of the, um, TAMER titles we tossed out in discussions.
Tip #36: Always leave a cash tip. It’s easier for wait staff, and in many places eliminates them having to rely on the cashier to open the register to exchange credit card tips for cash. At the restaurant I worked at in Brooklyn, the manager, who was the only one who could tip out wait staff from the register, suddenly underwent an operation and didn’t return to work until after I had quit — cheating me out of about $100 in credit card tips.
Probably because of my experience working on the other side, as a customer I try to refrain from sending back food unless (a) it’s the wrong order, (b) it looks like it might make me deathly ill, or (c) it’s not quite dead … or has something not quite dead crawling in it.
I do get that sometimes you should be demanding about your food. Especially if you’re paying a lot at a fancy restaurant for a meal. But there are ways to request good food and good service without being mean about it. Remember Tip #45 — Food service is a stressful and often thankless job that doesn’t pay well, and there’s often more to the person who’s serving your hamburger than just their funny outfit or how skillfully they refill your drink.
And if you can’t remember Tip #11 (Be Nice), then you just gotta remember Tip #1 — Don’t Mess with the Person Who Handles Your Food.
July 1st, 2008 at 3:03 pm
As long as I can see the food being prepared, I demand that they do it right. I’m not a snob, either. In fact, I regularly tip up to half of my tab at establishments I frequent. Why? Because I can relate to food servers, bartenders etc. Plus, and more importantly, when I’m at a bar I want the bartender to serve me quickly-I don’t need the convo or a smile, just the prompt service.
July 1st, 2008 at 3:07 pm
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July 1st, 2008 at 3:26 pm
“We have our first official beotch of the day! “
July 1st, 2008 at 4:01 pm
kim, i don’t really agree with the point you’re trying to make with your Tip #45. yeah, food service doesn’t pay well and can be stressful, but the worker chose to be in that position. no one’s forcing them — especially not the customer — to be a server/waiter. if they’re stressed, that’s their problem. it boils down to the fact that that’s what they’ve chosen to do for a living. they shouldn’t make the customer feel sorry that they’re in the profession they’ve chosen.
July 1st, 2008 at 4:14 pm
I was once “dining” at Zippy’s when I found a large, black fly at the bottom of my corn chowder. When I presented the drowned fly to the countergirl, she actually screamed, causing customers to stare at the unfortunate beast! She then asked if I would like my money back.
I said “No”…after all, I had consumed all the chowder. What good would that do? But I did warn her about being more careful with flying insects.
Another story: my wife and I invited a young lady and her boyfriend to Kincaid’s. They both ordered the $35 filet mignon…the most expensive item on the menu. When the steaks came out, she said that they were too well-done and sent them back, together with all the vegetables. When the replacements arrived, she said that these, too, were not right, and sent them back, again–with all the vegetables.
The Chef then appeared and tried to solve the problem….he wasn’t too happy. They had trashed $140 worth of steaks! By then, we had finished our main course and were eating dessert. The third try turned out to be successful (I was going to order them to eat those steaks, no matter what they were like!). Somewhat sheepishly, I asked our waiter what had happened to the steaks. “Into the dumpster,” he said, angrily. Needless to say, that was the last time we invited this pair for dinner, and it was a long time before we had the courage to dine at Kincaid’s again.
July 1st, 2008 at 4:25 pm
I recently had a conversation with a coworker who has worked a lot in Japan. Tipping is not done in Japan. Now in the U.S.he insists on giving no more than 10-15% for only the most exemplary service.
July 1st, 2008 at 4:32 pm
Kim,
Last night I went to the Wendy’s drive-thru in Aiea (live in Kaneohe). I ordered a Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger, no mayo and a Side Salad w/Italian Dressing. Heard the guy say he got my dressing request, and subsequently I forget to check the bag. Get home, and that 20 grams of fat creamy dressing is there. With my stomach lacking tolerance for buttermilk, I’m stuck eating a plain salad, which I mostly just ate the tomatoes, cucumbers, and carrots. I am single and don’t have any salad dressings at home. Ruined my post-game attempt at healthy eating. And they are not too friendly at that drive-thru either. I always say thanks and usually they say nothing initially or in return. But the food is cheap and tasty and its no big deal, but just making a note of it.
July 1st, 2008 at 4:34 pm
9 bucks for a chicken sandwich!?! yikes.
Tipping isn’t all that common outside the US so don’t be surprised if foreigners don’t know any better. For a table of 12, I’m surprised they didn’t automatically add a tip to the bill. It seems most restaurants do that now for groups of 8 or more.
July 1st, 2008 at 5:23 pm
If you order something different from the norm, there will often be mistakes with your order. I don’t like most condiments, in general, so if I’ve ordered something without them and the order comes with them by mistake, I’ll send it back (because I’m not paying for something I won’t eat). And, if I’m paying $40 for a medium rare steak, it should not be well done (if not, why bother asking?). I may or may not send it back, but, if I don’t, I will mention it to my server or the manager. I recognize, however, that the server is generally not the preparer of the food, so I would never penalize them “tip-wise” for meals that could have been better prepared. I would, however, take into consideration lack of service or rude service and, I believe, that the expectation of the level of service depends on where you are dining.
There are some servers who, frankly, don’t deserve a tip. But, there are others who provide service by far beyond what is expected and deserve a tip better than the standard 15 - 20% of your food bill. I’ve often had excellent service at Zippy’s, as well as Kincaid’s. But, for comparable service, my Zippy’s server would generally get a much smaller tip because of the price of food so I’d be inclined to give much more than 20%. I hope people will tip nicely for great service, no matter what their food bill is.
July 1st, 2008 at 5:51 pm
Your next blog topic should be “How not to poison your custormers”. Twice i was poisoned with old fish, causing repeated trips to the bathroom for diarhea and cramps.
July 1st, 2008 at 6:10 pm
I don’t like tipping but, I do tip. Usually 20%. I would prefer the bill be 15% - 20% higher and no tip required.
July 1st, 2008 at 6:16 pm
Hey Lisa,
I guess the point I was trying to make is that, true, it’s nobody’s fault — especially not the customers’ — that a person may be working in food service, but it’s good if customers keep in mind where the server is coming from.
For example, when dining at, let’s say, a fast food joint, it’s easy for some to treat a person behind the counter like they have little education and are only good enough to work in a fast food joint. I think there’s a temptation to look down on food service workers, which I certainly don’t agree with. Waitresses are people too!
As a waitress trying to help pay for my college education, I never relied on pity points for a good tip, but I always thought it would be helpful if customers treated me like a real person and not just a french fry server or drink pourer.
July 1st, 2008 at 7:14 pm
I usually ask my daughter what to leave for a tip as she is in the food service business as a waitress and bartender and knows the feeling of being stiffed, tip wise. She’s had several attempted eat-and-run, they can run but doing it when there are cops dining is really stoooopid….the servers have to cover the tab out of their own pocket if that happens and being a college student, she depends on the tips since they are not paid anywhere near minimum.
July 1st, 2008 at 9:19 pm
1. Squirting unwanted mayonaise on food is a disgusting offense, and the true mayo hater will get another sandwich. I simply could not eat a sandwich with mayo on it; it’s not would not but COULD not. Yuck. By the way, there’s an I Hate Mayo club founded by columnist Charles Memminger on your rival newspaper. He has performed a great public service!
2. I always suspected what you say about leaving cash tips. I leave cash about 80% of the time. Now I will try to make it 100%. However, I have asked the wait people at Zippy’s if they always get their tip and received positive answers. I tip generously because both my daughters worked in restaurants. In fact, on Maui it was a way of life for the wait people (HATE THAT TERM)–servers, whatever–to give each other huge tips when they visited each other’s restaurants. This kept the money circulating, I guess, and life was an everlasting Maui ball until one realized there were no eligible men over there. Feckless carpenters dominated the male scene. So, life on Maui was great for the Quarterlife (to use your title), but not for the next stage.
July 1st, 2008 at 9:33 pm
I agree. I don’t dare mess with people who prepare my food. I have a lot of respect for them. Any job dealing with customer service is a challenge. Sometimes you really can’t please everyone.
July 2nd, 2008 at 5:27 am
I used to work at Pizza Hut (best job I’ve ever had!) and since then have been very graceful to food service employees when they make mistakes.
HOWEVER, mayo makes me barf like the pie eating contest from Stand By Me. Ack!
July 2nd, 2008 at 8:34 am
Wow. I can relate to this. Seems like some people go to restaurants for service rather than the food huh? Taste should matter - not service.
July 2nd, 2008 at 8:55 am
I have some friends that are waiters that feel like they are stiffed when they receive 10% tip. Safe to call them stuck-up?
July 2nd, 2008 at 9:45 am
Generally, I agree that people should try (or at least try picturing) working on the other side of the the service they’re utilizing: it tends to broaden horizons.
At the same time, when you eat at a restaurant, you’re paying for several things. One of those things is service. Mistakes happen, and courtesy goes a long way in seeking a fix, but it’s reasonable for a customer to ask for a fix for a problem.
For instance, in Kim’s Subway story and Richard’s anecdote:
Assuming that the steaks really were miscooked, I don’t think it’s unreasonable–at all–to send back food that’s improperly prepared, especially in a situation like these two where the employee explicitly asks how the consumer would like the food prepared. If you ask for a steak medium well and it comes medium rare, it’s like eating two entirely different foods. If I order a steak at a restaurant for $35 that I could get raw in a grocery store for $15, I’m paying the extra $20 to have that meat cooked properly and served to me.
This doesn’t even begin to account for health-related concerns. If you order your eggs fried and they come with the yolk still runny, the restaurant is foisting the risk of salmonella on you.
I have a brother who has severe food allergies. If he’d asked for a sandwich with no mayo, he’d need a sandwich with no mayo. If the preparer/server had scraped most of the mayo off, he could still die (yes, die) from eating the sandwich. In that instance, he can at least check the sandwich to see. If he were to eat at a restaurant and the server incorrectly tells him that the steak he’s ordering is free of seasoning and is cooked without corn-containing oils, whoops! You just screwed up his skin, breathing and energy levels for the next few weeks.
Granted, it’s the responsibility of the consumer to properly convey a sense of urgency and importance with their requests if the requests are as vital as my brother’s are. But I’m getting increasingly tired of the attitude that customers are supposed to be accommodating with a restaurant’s mistakes just because food service jobs are tough.
July 2nd, 2008 at 10:04 am
I definitely go to restaurants for service - I can eat at home but to be “served” is pure luxury.
Because of past food service experience I always try to tip well but I do still send stuff back if I’m not satisfied. The trick is to stay nice about it.
Once I find a good server I always get their name and request them on my return. that way I know I’ll get the level of service I want. It makes the experience so much more enjoyable.
July 2nd, 2008 at 10:44 am
Also don’t be an ass at the speaker at a drive-thru restaurant or else you might get some secret sauce on your burger. The worst time to piss those guys off is during the midnight/early morning times after they had to deal with drunk patrons all night that just got out of a bar somewhere.
July 2nd, 2008 at 11:12 am
never send food back!
once out of site you dont know what the heck they are doing to it.
subway is not to bad cause at least you can see them making your sandwitch. fast food is not to bad cause you can see into the kitchen but whats behind closed doors can freak out even that bizarre food guy.
July 2nd, 2008 at 3:34 pm
I completely agree with your post — I was in food service as well. But I would like to make one exception for food allergies. A year ago I was diagnosed with gluten intolerance. After working in the food industry and growing up with a strict understanding that the world did not revolve around me I was loathe to send back food. But after countless nights of getting sick from restaurant food that contained wheat I either had to quit eating out or accept the fact that I was going to have to be “that girl” that sent her food back if it was wrong.
And of course there is a polite way to do it and one should never be rude. But you cannot assume that every person that sends back their food is a food snob. It could be a legitimate health issue.
July 2nd, 2008 at 4:40 pm
I agree with the point a lot of you have brought up — those with food allergies, especially severe ones, are definitely allowed to be picky about their orders. It’s good for servers to remember that some customers may not be giving them a hard time … they may just be really worried about having a life-threatening allergic reaction.
July 3rd, 2008 at 7:44 pm
I used to manage at a mainland-corporate “juice club” located here in hawaii … and i’ve seen my share of people that would drink pretty much the entire drink, then say something is wrong with it and ask for another one. I’ve also seen those that order when they are talking on their cell phones, forget their order and believe that they ordered something else and then yell at you for getting their order wrong. we also dump any product that is not made correctly. a lot of waste. we’ve had those that also had food allergies … most commonly with peanuts. we’ve actually made accommodations for them that we supply their own equipment for them at no charge. and we’re civil with other requests so long they explain that it’s not just a personal preference, but a necessity.
about tips and Japan, it’s true that people in Japan don’t tip, but their wages are set accordingly to make up for the tip. I once told my friend that then he stopped tipping at curry house for a while because it’s a Japanese restaurant chain. I eventually got him to tip again.
and to those who complain that servers don’t deserve to complain because they chose the profession … if not for the servers, we’d have no restaurants. i think a lot of people don’t know that restaurants are not required to pay minimum wage because their tips would push their hourly pay past minimum wage. it really is a thankless job.