Quarterlife Café » Houseguests! Roll out (hide?) the welcome mat

Houseguests! Roll out (hide?) the welcome mat

May 4th, 2008 by Kim

A friend is in town this week for a conference and is staying with me. So, for the first time I get to see what it’s like living with another person in my 420-sq.-ft. studio, which, up until Friday, was furnished only with a Queen-size aerobed, a TV, two Wal-mart folding tables and a weird-looking brown dresser.

It’s a situation likely experienced by anyone from Hawaii with close friends — and sometimes not-so-close friends — who come for a visit. You’ve noticed those longing looks in their eyes when you talk affectionately of 85-degree weather and pristine beaches. Everyone says yes, they’d LOVE to make the trip and, being full of the Aloha Spirit, you extend the invitation of a “someday” visit. And, of course, you offer your home as an alternative to a $300-per-night hotel.

But what happens when they take you up on the offer?

Any twenty-something who likes to travel has probably played the roles of both host and guest. I’ve hosted several college friends in Hawaii, offering a spare bed in my parents’ house (when I lived there) or a sleeping bag on the floor in my apartment. All have been great so far, cooking meals or giving me time alone when I needed it to work or study.

Other hosts I know haven’t been so lucky. I always prepare friends beforehand for the space-constraints of Hawaii living. With space being so tight, it’s often easy for guests to overstay their welcome. It’s tough when the host is on a 9-to-5 work schedule and the guest(s) are not. I’ve heard horror stories about vacationing “guests from hell” who stay out way past when their exhausted host has gone to bed and come stumbling in around 5 in the morning — sometimes with other people. Some hosting experiences go bad after just a few days and the guest winds up seeking out another place, getting a hotel, or booking an earlier flight.

There are various lists of rules compiled for being a good house guest. Most recommend the “three-day rule” for non-relatives. Here’s Rule Two of a ten-rule list supposedly posted by a New Yorker on Craig’s List:

Rule Two
All visitors planning to stay more than three days and nights are now required to show one of the following documents.
1. A valid airplane ticket from a different country (Texas not included)
2. An insurance claim proving that your house burnt down.
3. The birth certificate proving that I once lived in your (or your wife’s) womb for nine months (which is indeed way more than three days)
-Or-
4. Photo ID proving that you are Johnny Depp or Viggo Mortenson.

At 24, I long for the day when I will be able to offer a friend an actual “guest room” — not just a clean spot on the carpet. But I’m afraid that day is still far away. Until then, I suppose my guests will have to make do.

Plus, whenever I get an email from a friend coming to visit, I remember that I’ve slept on my fair share of other peoples’ floors and couches — in New York, Chicago, California and Japan, to name a few. I like to think of it as doing my part as one member of a community of globetrotters. It all somehow evens out in the wide world of traveling and random floor-crashing.

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Coincidentally (promise), there is an article in the NYT today about presidential campaign workers depending on the generosity of supporters for places to stay on the campaign trail.

Tags: college, housing, travel

This entry was posted on Sunday, May 4th, 2008 at 11:39 pm and is filed under Quarterlife Island. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

12 Responses to “Houseguests! Roll out (hide?) the welcome mat”

hemajang:
May 5th, 2008 at 6:11 am
I once surprised a friend one early morning in San Francisco looking for a place to stay. At least I waited until sunrise at the Greyhound station before trekking to his basement apartment. I’m not sure if he was glad to see me but we had fun for the couple days I stayed there. I think his place was smaller than yours Kim. I don’t really remember the accommodations because we were out in the city most of the time. This was in the early 70’s and a lot of radical stuff was going on in SF. We hung around china town a bit checking out his friend who was turning out radical publications in this old printshop.
franksabunch:
May 5th, 2008 at 6:24 am
Once I let someone from the med school class below me stay with me for an entire month because she was doing an away elective at my hospital and I didn’t charge her anything. I figure that that there isn’t enough charity in this world, so I should be nice and always welcome guests into my place. (She made it easy because she was a good houseguest!) On the flip side once I had an acquaintance visit my family’s home in Hawaii and he would leave his underwear on the floor! That’s “Janet, Ms. Jackson if you nasty” NASTY!
Lei:
May 5th, 2008 at 7:47 am
Once my bro hosted students from Germany…they were the worst…sloppy…CHEAP…would come home from the beach…eat..and then go back…and grumbled that my mom made too much chicken and not enough beef.
MoOgooGuypAN:
May 5th, 2008 at 9:45 am
You have a queen sized aerobed? LOL. That’s supposed to be for your guests or for kids to jump on at the park. Take a tip from someone who watches HGTV all the time, get a futon matress. Why? It’s multifunctional. In the day or when entertaining in a studio it will look like a living area. At night you open it up to reveal your sleeping area. Add that and a couple of rolling dividers and your set. Let me know if you need any other design ideas. Just please, get rid of the aerobed.
John:
May 5th, 2008 at 10:51 am
Hehe… I 2nd the futon matress idea! I think they’re awesome! Couch during the day, bed at night.
Kim:
May 5th, 2008 at 11:00 am
Funny — I really prefer the aerobed. For one, it was much less expensive than a futon, and far more portable. It’s comfortable, and for someone who is moving around a lot, it makes sense for me. Maybe when I finally set up in a more permanent location, I’ll get to purchase a futon. Or better yet — a real bed!
Vanessa:
May 5th, 2008 at 11:17 am
I agree Kim. We slept on an aerobed for the first couple of months before we got a mattress. It was odd because it was almost like we were in a crib, as we had the frame of the bed, but no mattress. Anyhow, when we moved it was a pain to move everything. Mattresses are really heavy and taking apart the frame is such a hassle. Especially in a space so small, an aerobed is fine for now.
Nicole:
May 5th, 2008 at 1:33 pm
I’ve had both a futon and an aerobed and the aerobed wins for comfort. I now have a regular bed and the aerobed resides in the guest room, which is perfect for when my niece spends the night or visitors come from the East Coast.
juh:
May 5th, 2008 at 1:59 pm
Aerobed feels like waterbed. True story.
ChicBu:
May 5th, 2008 at 3:22 pm
Futons are better to … better for two to enjoy if you know what I mean. Aerobeds and waterbeds require buddhist concentration and circus-freak balance to stay on top of … the bed I mean, not the girl.
JennaK808:
May 5th, 2008 at 3:26 pm
well on that note i live in a small place to and sleep on a futon that takes up like half the room. its hard to have my boyfriend over and be comftorble cause its so cramped.

kim do you have a boyfriend to or what do you do when you have guys over? is it a problem for you to?
carolyn:
May 7th, 2008 at 8:23 am
The “three-day rule” applies to non-relatives AND relatives for me! our house is way small, only 824 square feet with three people living in it. My mom visited for the longest 15 days in history two Christmases ago. We survived but both agreed that the “fish rule” is a good one.

for comfort and convenience, I vote for the aerobed.