Ah, Bromance in the air!
April 10th, 2008 by Kim
Joey and Chandler. Matt and Ben. Bill Clinton and…Al Gore?
The Seattle Times on Monday explored the “bromance” — “the complicated love and affection shared by two straight males,” as defined by urbandictionary.com.
More than one woman I know has had momentary suspicions — even if only fleeting — of her boyfriend’s closeness with his roommate, teammate or co-worker.
The “bromance” assures women that men — tada! — can be close and still straight!
Wait. Is this news? Isn’t this article not so much about an amazing new social phenomenon as about a new word coined to describe, well, men who are FRIENDS?
The article says one of the reasons behind the popularity of the “bromance” is that the average man is getting married later, at an average age of 27, according to a 2007 report by the National Marriage Project at Rutgers University. The average marrying age in 1960 was 23. The study also found that men with more education were tying the knot even later, in their 30s.
All of this apparently is rolled up in the dreaded “quarterlife crisis”:
Experts say the prevalence of these friendships can in part be explained by the delay in major life milestones. Fifty years ago, a man could graduate from college, get a job and get married all within a couple of months. But today’s men are drifting, as opposed to jumping, into the traditional notion of adulthood.
“The transition to adulthood is now taking about a decade longer than it used to,” said Michael Kimmel, a sociology professor at Stony Brook University in New York whose upcoming book is called “Guy Land: The Perilous World Where Boys Become Men.” One set of men Kimmel interviewed for the book were fraternity brothers at Dartmouth College. Following graduation, seven of them squeezed into a two-bedroom apartment in Boston.
The article also links the “bromance” trend to changing perceptions of homosexuality in America:
According to Peter Nardi, a sociologist at Pitzer College who specializes in male friendships, all these phrases are safer than they used to be because men are less afraid of being perceived as gay. It has become more acceptable for them to show some emotion. Al Gore and Bill Clinton hugged when they won the 1992 election and sports figures cry on camera when they’re busted for steroids, Nardi pointed out.
Finally! So, straight men are relieved of the burden of worrying about others thinking they are gay, and can just admit that they like other men and show some emotion!
Women: I hope this doesn’t create confusion about who wears the pants in the relationship.
photo: www.nbc.com/scrubs
Tags: men, random, relationships, things that amuse me
April 10th, 2008 at 5:59 am
These sociologists that research these types of relationships are out of touch with mainstream America. They spend too much time in an office and not enough time interacting with real people.
Why do men form close relationships with other men? Maybe because it’s easier for people of the same gender to relate to one another. And maybe perhaps socioeconomic conditions force men to rely more heavily on each other.
American society tends to portray the heterosexual norm as the John Rambo type. A “man” that’s tough and rugged and also a loner. Unfortunately a lot of heterosexual men tend to believe this BS. The truth is humans are social animals, and we need each other survive.
A man that is too stupid or too timid to ask other men for help, or who lacks the rudimentary skills to relate to other men probably has a brain that’s warped from watching too much movies.
April 10th, 2008 at 7:43 am
I dunno ’bout most dudes, but I’m totally gay for my guy friends.
Totally.
…
Also:
Best tag in a news blog, ever.
April 10th, 2008 at 8:14 am
i LOVE the new term…bromance…lol!! my husband has one or two friends and so do my bro-in-laws, that us wives know when the friends are around, we are no longer priority! it’s always funny when they tell us they’re gonna do something together…”you mean like a date”…lol!! but it’s cool! guys need to have other guys they can talk to and confide in. or rather “discuss”!! since according to most men, women gossip, but men discuss. yeah right!! some men sound just as catty as women, especially when hookin’ up with their bromantic partner!
April 10th, 2008 at 8:37 am
LMAO. Now that’s funny. Yah, I got my fair share of male companions. We always do the weekend barbeque and sports functions. I don’t think male bonding was too big an issue. We never felt like we looked gay, although at the movies we would always keep the “gay space” open between each male. There is still a barrier to our “broness” though. For example, I see girls holdong hands andit could go either way. However, if I see guys holding hands it means only one thing…yup.
April 10th, 2008 at 1:16 pm
One of my good friends married a guy who shared - and still shares - a “bromance” with his best friend. Seriously, we thought they might have been a couple and, maybe, the marriage was a front. I mean, my friend had to accomodate the best friend in their travel plans because he got all habuteru (prior to meeting her, the two had traveled together)! He had a hard time playing second fiddle to my friend and acted like a jealous girlfriend! I’m all for guys having close friends, but something like that… I dunno!
April 10th, 2008 at 5:06 pm
That’s . . . that’s quite something to reveal, Andrew.
You know . . . heh, I actually don’t believe this is a NEW thing. Heh. I guess males can have a bestestestestest friend out of their group of pals (I have a group of pals, I don’t have ONE best friend; I don’t give one of them more Christmas gifts than the others, for instance). But, heck, I guess there IS that “that man is my BEST friend kind of deal.”
And, who the heck KNOWS where that exclusive friendship will lead off into. Heh. You know?????
Man, this concept might be too advanced for me, come to think of it, heh heh. First metrosexuality, now this (which, I do think, might not be a new concept).
Gasp.
April 10th, 2008 at 7:51 pm
I have friends who are guys…I call them my “homies.” “Bromance” sounds like a homosexual relationship between two men and is in no way, shape or form a term that makes having a male friendship more palatable or “acceptable.” (Since when was it wrong to have friends?) Should I call my friendships with other females (that I’m not married to) as “Womance” then? What about my love for pizza…pizzance?
I doubt you’ll find any men of my age who will call their friendships with other men as bromances. Only men in France would do something like that.
Those sociologists are just trying to compensate for the fact that their mothers didn’t hug them enough when they were young. =P
April 10th, 2008 at 11:22 pm
Lol……I remember that scrubs episdode…….perhaps a more fitting image would’ve been JD and Turk playing Gay Chicken……..
As for Bromance, meh, I don’t mind that the term exists, however, it will feel awkward to know that there is a term for it now. I just thought it was bein’ really cool with your buddies.
‘Sides, the term kind of sounds funny, as one of the roots is “romance” and me hangin’ out w/ my buddies is hardly romantic, but kind of familial - where it’s as if we’re brothers kind of thing….