Hey. Don’t judge me by my age.
February 27th, 2008 by KimDuring the first weeks of college, we had these getting-to-know-you-type workshops that were supposed to help all of us understand a little more about our dorm mates’ backgrounds.
In one exercise, the workshop hosts asked a series of questions and asked us to stand on different sides of a classroom according to our answers. For example, one of the easier questions might be: “Have you ever seen the Pacific Ocean?” — everyone who answered “no” would stand on one side, everyone who answered “yes” would stand on the other.
One of the questions was “Have you ever felt discrimination?” Thinking I would stand up for Hawaii and all its melting pot wonderful-ness, I was the only person who chose to stand on the “no” side of the room while everyone else went and stood on the other.
Yes, I was quite naive at the time, first to think that I would never feel any sort of racial discrimination in Hawaii (a BIG topic for another time) and second, for automatically thinking only of racial discrimination and ignoring the other kinds of discrimination out there.
As twenty somethings just starting out in the working world, we face enough problems to complain about but not huge hardships. However, one of the biggest problems I’ve encountered is discrimination, particularly based on the fact that I am young and the fact that I am female.
I’m not talking about at the Advertiser, but about reactions from people I meet while doing my job. As a reporter, I am always out in the field, talking to people and meeting them face-to-face. So, it’s been a quite interesting — and frustrating — to observe how people to react to a young female reporter just trying to get some answers.
Case in point: I was once in Kailua, investigating a pedestrian accident when one of the men I was interviewing asked me why I had been assigned to the story.
“I mean, aren’t you supposed to be covering dog shows or something?” he said.
Ouch.
I don’t know whether his comment came from the fact that I was young, female, a combination of both, or something else. Whatever it was, it stung.
I’m probably additionally handicapped by the fact that I look younger than I am. I’m 24, but I could probably still get the child rate at the movie theater. Taking a flight by myself last year, a kind stewardess asked me if I were old enough to be seated in the emergency exit row. I believe you have to be 18 to do that.
I suspect that men my age may also encounter age bias when applying for a job or maybe even in the workplace. It’s the feeling that you’re starting at a disadvantage and you just have to prove yourself.
Don’t get me wrong. I love what I do. It’s just unfortunate when people don’t take you seriously based on factors you have no control over, like your age or gender.
It just makes my everyday work a bit more of a challenge.
Tags: journalism, work
February 27th, 2008 at 12:00 pm
Kim, “challenge” was the best word you used here. That’s all it is, as with everything in life. No one’s immune. There’ll always be something to test us, and there’s always a few sour grapes among the batch. I wouldn’t focus on the age or gender issue. A few examples do not represent the whole.
Keep up the good work!
February 27th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
My goodness girlfriend, you are wise beyond your years. How many times have I told you that?! Take the lessons that the uncomfortable moments teach you and let them work for you as you write.
February 27th, 2008 at 12:47 pm
yeah i kind of look young for my age, i’m 22 and don’t look my age…but my friend is an insurance agent he’s the same age as me. people don’t take him serious…he’s 5′1. and people still thinks he’s a kid. he probably could pass for 16.
February 27th, 2008 at 1:03 pm
I believe that in the case of the Kailua man, it was more about your age than your gender. I imagine he referenced dog show to imply that since you are a young reporter you should be covering the smaller stories. I don’t agree with his stereotype, but I do think that was the point he was trying to make. I think people your age encounter the same challenges equally regardless of gender. It will pass as time goes by. On the bright side, being mistaken for a 15 yr old now means you will probably still look young and hot at age 50
February 27th, 2008 at 1:04 pm
Those kinds of discrimination you exampled were minor and easily shook off. I ditto comments from M.R. and Paula, you doing great and will have a brighter future. Now when you in the 30’s and 40’s but look like 24, won’t that be even better?
At one time all of my doctors were older than me who I always respected because of their profession and wisdom. But now, a lot of the doctors are younger, some much younger than me and sometimes wonder if they have enough experience to treat me adequately. I may be a bit uncomfortable if a Doogie Howser were to be doing heart surgery on me.
February 27th, 2008 at 1:08 pm
Neil Patrick Harris never fails!!!
February 27th, 2008 at 2:13 pm
You are preaching to the choir! I am a young attorney who has been practicing law for 3 years. You don’t know how many times I have been underestimated due to my gender (female), my age (27) and probably my ethnicity (not white)! Being underestimated has only caused me to work harder. And believe me, age and experience does not necessarily equate to knowledge and skill. By the way, I look much younger than my true age also. I am constantly carded everywhere I go and people gape at me every time I tell them what I do for a living.
February 27th, 2008 at 2:27 pm
Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger said the wise old sage. Oh speaking of sage have you tried smoking salvia? Beware and use with caution unless you want to go on a vision quest.
February 27th, 2008 at 2:29 pm
Oh and you should feel happy that you look younger than your age. Wait until you reach 50 then you will really appreciate that special asian trait.
February 27th, 2008 at 2:38 pm
What? Heated debates today? Aw shucks.
Anyhow, I get the same kinda looks. Maybe it’s an asian thing like guest [Visitor] said . I’m in my very early 30’s and people have told me that I look like an 18 year old. I actually don’t mind it. In fact, I get insulted if I don’t get carded. I would much rather have people think I’m really young than look old. I can see what you mean when people might not take you as seriously though. I think when I’m pulling weeds in my front yard people are wondering where my parents are? Hahaha.
February 27th, 2008 at 4:05 pm
I hear ya. I’ve had many of my patients ask me, “so…are you the medical student?” @_@ haha! Well, it’s better than them asking if I’m the professor emeritus.
But I think it’s tough as a young woman in your industry. One of my good friends experienced a lot of hardship being a young woman in journalism in Hawaii, but I won’t say details because I don’t want to speak for her.
Unfortunately, the glass ceiling isn’t just about salary. But keep your chin up! =D
February 27th, 2008 at 5:13 pm
One thing you really want to cherish is a young doctor. I knew a guy who was blind and he went to the same-old-same- old doctor. One day, for some reason, he got a new young doctor who told him, “You don’t have to be blind you know. There are new techniques.” The next time I saw him my friend said the unforgettable words, “Hey, Hank, I can see!” What a great sensation that was for me, not to mention him.
February 27th, 2008 at 5:45 pm
Cheer up. When you look old it’s usually because you are old, and then you have to deal with high blood pressure, cholesteral, being fat, age spots, sore joints, estate planning and picking a burial plan.
Youth is good. Trust me.
February 27th, 2008 at 6:44 pm
Age discrimination against women increases as they grow older, especially in more appearance oriented fields.
February 27th, 2008 at 6:52 pm
I would ask that too if a doctor looks young and doesn’t appear to know what they are doing.
February 27th, 2008 at 9:01 pm
The other end of the spectrum: I was having dinner once with a man in his 50’s who looked much older than he was. The waitress asked him if he’d like the “senior citizen meal.” He was so angry, I thought he was going to march out of the restaurant! Needless to say, he didn’t leave a tip.
February 27th, 2008 at 9:02 pm
Proof, you’re more than welcome to come over and see all the awards I have won in medicine.
You’d be surprised how many “old” doctors out in the community are still practicing medicine that they learned 30 years ago.
You could say that the same thing occurs in journalism, not necessarily in the way stories are reported, but perhaps in the way younger journalists have their character assaulted by holier-than-thou others.
February 27th, 2008 at 9:45 pm
So what’s your point?
February 28th, 2008 at 5:36 am
Hawaii is barely a melting pot - more like a “melting pot” of Pacific and Asian cultures - and not much else.
February 28th, 2008 at 5:39 am
Enjoy it for the next year or two - you age will catch up (and you’ll look 26! shudder!!!) after working and minor twenty-something aging.
February 28th, 2008 at 5:26 pm
When I read the part about the Kailua man and the dog show, I immediately thought, “Hey, just like in Anchorman.” Maybe he was referring to that movie. Or maybe he’s just an ignorant jerk.
But hey, don’t sweat it. Most people equate youth with stupidity and seniority with experience. It is better to be underestimated than overestimated.
February 29th, 2008 at 8:55 am
Great topic! As an asian/hapa female, I get this all the time. I think someone listed earlier that for them it was ethnicity, age and gender. I attribute it to my ethnicity as well, but also my petite stature (aka height).
Of course, I always get the brushoff comment that “Oh at least you’ll never look old for your age” or “It’s great to look youthful” or some crap like that, but when you’re at that end of the conversation, it does get tiring and can come off as a little patronizing. Also, I fear what it will be like when I’m in my thirties and people are underestimating my age still. I hope people won’t be guessing 18. Eeeek.
By then I will wear a sign around my neck saying, “I’m 34 and asian. Deal with it.”
February 29th, 2008 at 1:20 pm
Major ironies!
I started growing body hair early in life! Started shaving in middle school! As a high school freshmen, a lot of people said I “looked like a high school junior”. In 11th grade, someone thought I looked 30! (I had a beard that time)
Before I was 18, people asked if I could buy beer and ciggarettes for them, because I “looked older”. (the answer is NO)
But, now I’m 27, 3 years out of college, and people are still asking me if I’m currently a college student. (It might be all the UH gear I’m wearing!)
As for “judge” saying Hawaii is just a melting pot of Pacific and Asia — that brings another stereotype I deal with!
Being that I am of Latin American and European ancestry, everyone assumes I’m from somewhere else (usually California or Mexico, but sometimes they assume I’m Middle Eastern)
I am NOT from somewhere else! I was born & raised in Hawaii. I am a McKinley alumni (in other words, I’m more “local” than more than half of my high school classmates at my mostly immigrant high school!)